Home Alone.

I find that I don’t exactly love being home alone. Well, just at night.

I become a temporary schizophrenic. I see moving shadows in the corner of my eye. I’m scared that there’s always someone waiting for me in the next room, a robber or something. I hear noises coming from all over the house and I’m afraid.


Ahhh! Munsters are in my house. :<


As predicted, Sandy DID go out for the whole day and will be home in the morning. lol. I do dearly miss her company. :< At least she texted me saying “r u gona b ok at home?” It’s nice to know she cares. :) I’m just happy he’s not sleeping over here because last time left me a little scarred for reasons I would rather not discuss. Lol.

My parents left in the morning and I spent the majority of my day cleaning the house.

I cleaned the whole kitchen. All the counters, tables, and the tiles. I do not get how it gets so dang dirty by the end of every week! X[ I mean, if you spill something, you clean it up right? Goodness. -_- I did feel a bit like Cinderella, though. It sure was tiring.

I also vacuumed most of the house, not downstairs since we barely go there anyways and I cleaned the treadmill. The other day I told my mom I wanted to clean it and she said “That thing’s useless now.” I beg to differ, madam. Lol. I have not given up on it yet. It took me almost 2 hours to clean that sucker. First I had to dust it, then I had to scrape off the plaster, then I had to scrub it with soapy water, then I had to scrub it with clean water, and finally I dried it with a towel. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get all the plaster/paint off but it still looked a whole lot cleaner than it did before I started. :D

During my break from cleaning. :P

Since the treadmill was nice and clean, I ran for a good 20 minutes and I was actually sweating. Like really sweating. Lol. I was amazed because whenever I run down and up the hill I don’t really sweat much at all. I’ll be running as much as I can now. :)

Benefits of being home alone? I can sing as loud as I want to. I can play my music as loud as I want. I can stay awake as late as I want without my mom saying “Ay, you go to sleep now!” I could throw a party. I could stay out all night and maybe even sleep over someone’s house. And most importantly, I can walk around the house naked without worry. Lol. jk jk. That’s not the most important thing but yes, I did, in fact, walk around naked in my house. After running on the treadmill, I took a shower. When I was done I thought to myself “Hmm. I’m alone in the house. Sure. Why not.” To be honest, it’s pretty cool. Lol. All the curtains and blinds in the house are closed so it’s all good. Don’t think me crazy! I just wanted to try it out is all. After a while I forgot I wasn’t wearing any clothes. lol. I dunno. I guess there aren’t as many benefits to being home alone as I thought. Haha.

Life has been quite difficult without my left control key. Ever since it jammed and I had to pop it off, I’ve been miserable. Lol. Well, not really. But things would be so much easier if I could just put it back on. You see, putting it back on is a million times harder than taking it off. lol.

I’ll be studying and doing homework all day tomorrow, since I only did housework today. Parents will be back on Monday. I hope they’re having fun. :)

[fin]


“SillySimpleStef” :D Blue naiws for this week.

The Promenade.

Can still see the scar forming from my lip ring. :< Looks like a big pimple. lol. A permanent one. o_O


It sounds like a cool place to go to doesn’t it? Well, it’s not! lol.

Jess and Jean came to school with me in the morning because Jess had another experiment to do. Well, sadly Jess went on the wrong day and she couldn’t do the experiment. After class, we looked for a place to go. Jess remembered when we passed The Promenade when we got lost last week. The place looked pretty interesting so we searched it up.

On the directory online there were like 200 shops or something which was crazyyy. Lol. We got the directions and went to Cha for Tea to eat. We played Connect Four and Jess sure owned. Lol. Surprisingly, I finished my food. I actually FINISHED my food! XD hahaha. Unfortunately, I felt really sleepy afterwards and I still had to drive. Lol.

When we got there, we realized that the place that we looked up online and the place we got directions to weren’t the same place. lol. The place was, indeed, called the Promenade, but it did not have 200 stores like we saw online. We figured out that the Promenade with all the stores was actually in a different state. Lol.

Yeah… This place wasn’t very big and there weren’t any stores that were worth our time. Most of them were restaurants. We walked around for a very short while, went to GameStop and played Guitar Hero (lol), went to Borders, and left. haha. Jess bought this really cute chibi drawing book. XD And I saw this really cute chibi book of animals. It was so cuuuute but I didn’t have any more money. Lol. Oh well.

As we were driving back home, we played a game where we went down the alphabet and we had to name a Pokemon for each letter. It was fun but sometimes we were stumped and Jess ended up looking at her Pokedex on her DS. We drove and drove and asked ourselves a million times “What do you guys wanna do?” lol. Movie? Nah. Explore China Town? Nah. Badminton? Jess hates it. Tennis? Too hot for that. Then Jess thought of something. “Wanna visit Ron?” lol. We were supposed to go running today but it was that time for Jess. haha. So yeah, to Pasadena it was. :)

Jean fell asleep in the car as we drove. When we got to Ron’s place I thought that he would just knock out the moment we got there. lol. I was wrong. Ron was playing God of War 2 and we all joined in. It was fun but whenever it came to a boss or something, I just handed the controller to Ron. haha. There was this one part where there was a Spartan and he was asking for Kratos’s help. Then Ron picked the guy up who was like “Please, help me” then Ron brought him to this conveyor belt that led to large gears and the guy was like “Wait. What are you doing?” *throws him on conveyor belt and he dies* lol. That was so sad. :< Poor guy. The game looks pretty cool. I think I’m going to play part 1 since I don’t have a PS3. :P Greek mythology FTW!! XD Twas fun just hanging out. Jess and Jean were making poffits or whatever on Pokemon. Jess kept telling Jean not to spill but she was the one that messed up. haha.

I wanted to get home before my mom so she wouldn’t be mad. Before we left, we all took turns trying to kill this 3 headed rat monster. We all died. Haha. We said goodbye and I dropped the kids off at Jean’s place. I got home before my mom but I closed the garage the second my mom was pulling into the driveway and she beeped at me. So DAMNIT she knew I went out. X[ Oh wells.

Parents gone to Vegas for the weekend and most likely Sandy will be out the whole time celebrating her lover’s birthday. Should I go out? Have friends over? Walk around the house naked? Hrmm… What to do, What to do… lol. :P

[fin]

Yes, I'm bored. :)

I do stupid faces because I can't make pretty ones. :)

The Car.

Had to get an oil change at the dealership today. They even washed my car. Well, when I got home, my dad and I realized that they did a crappy job washing my car because there was still dust and dirt all over the place. My dad and I ended up pretty much just cleaning it all over again. Note: no Windex this time. :P

Waxing my car with my dad was cool despite the fact that it took forever and it was quite hot outside. Lol. I suppose it was our father-daughter bonding time. It took us a good hour and something.

Oh yeah, a while ago I was driving on the freeway when I heard something hit my car. I disregarded it at the time but whatever it was, it left a nasty dent that my dad discovered the next day. I didn’t know that he inspected my car daily. Lol. Anyways, my dad got an estimate on how much it would cost to fix it. $650 to get rid of a damn scratch!? No way I’d pay that much. Well, no way I’d want my parents to pay that much. Haha.

Hmm. My parents are always going to Las Vegas nowadays. They’ve already gone about 3 or 4 times this year alone! And again they are going this weekend. o_O And they always use my car. >:[ I really don’t want them to use it this time because I don’t want it getting dirty so soon after it just got all nice and shiny smooth. X[ Plus, I don’t want to be driving around the 4runner. I’m not used to such big cars. :< Also, my dad doesn’t like it when the kids drive his baby. Lol.

I hope it doesn’t rain any time soon.

[fin]


Smiles?

The Dreams.

So boring now.

I notice that when I’m in school, I dream about daily routine things. The only difference is that things are a bit weird and sometimes strange, but nonetheless, a daily routine. Lol. Ok let me clear that up. I don’t mean that when I sleep at school, like during class or in the library. What I mean is whenever it’s that time of the year when I’m in school. Mk? Anyways, when I dream, I dream about waking up, getting ready for school, taking tests and all that crap. And when I wake up it’s like “WTF! I just went through today in my dream and it hasn’t even begun yet!?”boooo. >:[

Like last night, in my dream, I was getting an oil change and when I woke up I was like shit I need to do that. -_-

Such boring things to dream about. But I HAVE noticed that whenever I’m not in school, during winter break and summer vacation, I dream about cool stuff like flying and having super powers and awesome stuff like that. Cool storylines you know. haha.

This one dream last night wasn’t so bad, though. We (Me, Jess, Jean, Sandy, Stace, Nikki, Ron) were at Disneyland for some reason. And they had ALL the Disney characters at different sections of this one area. Lol. And we could take pictures with WHOEVER we wanted because ALL of them were there. XD I was actually excited. haha. I suppose I dreamt that because of my unfulfilled desire to take a picture with Donald Duck every time I go to Disneyland. :<

Some cool dreams, please?


At school.

[fin]

Sasha.

It was rather random when I received a text from Stace in the morning, asking if I wanted to go with her to visit Sasha’s grave. Of course, I agreed to go with her because I haven’t visited Sasha in such a long time.

Stace picked me up later that day and as we drove to Glendale, she filled me in on certain aspects of her life. Well, just one part of her life. lol. Very interesting stories, I must say. I wish her all the luck in the world with this one. :)

So we were almost at Forest Lawn when I realized that I had forgotten my Flounder and Creasy Bear toys at home. Flounder was Sasha’s favorite toy of mine and Sasha gave me the bear as a gift. I really wanted to bring them for her. Stace kindly drove us back to get the toys, but also because she wanted to kill time. lol. We also bought some flowers. When we got to Forest Lawn, we kind of forgot where Sasha’s grave was. lol. All I really remembered was a big tree. But then again, there’s like HOW many trees at Forest Lawn. Hahaha. We were driving around for quite some time but we eventually found her. :)

When we got to her grave, we noticed a few bouquets of flowers already there. I hadn’t seen her gravestone before because the last time I visited, they hadn’t put it yet. It was beautiful. There were pictures of her all over it and it had a very lovely quote on it, too. As Stace and I sat there, I heard Stace saying “Hi”. I didn’t recognize the woman Stace was greeting but she was walking straight towards us. “Hi. I’m Sasha’s mother,” she said. I really didn’t expect that. lol. Sasha’s father and sister were there as well. Was us seeing them a coincidence? I don’t know. It kind of felt like we were meant to see them because if I hadn’t forgotten my things and we hadn’t gotten lost, we would have been to her grave earlier, left earlier, and we would have missed them completely.

Even more surprising to me was that Sasha’s parents recognized me. “Stephannie. Oh yeah. Sasha went to your parties a lot.” lol. Her mom started telling us stories about Sasha’s last months and how she fought to live. So many stories about all the miracles that happened. It really was beautiful. And it made me feel, I don’t know, at peace I suppose because I was finally able to find out how she left since I found out about her death months after she was gone.

I really was too bad that Xtia wasn’t there. :<

They brought her flaming hot cheetos, just for her and they had strawberry cheese cake. Her dad said to us “You have to share with her, her favorite food.” So they have us a slice of cheese cake. I thought that it was so sweet that they still do that for her after two years. They said that they go there as much as they can, about 4 times a week. It just made me happy knowing that they love her so much to visit her so often and bring her food, just to be with her. It’s not like other people that go to graves to mourn and cry and be depressed. But them, they’re not like that. It seems that they only think of the beautiful memories that they’ve had with her and how Sasha’s always with them, watching over them.

I was very glad that I was able to hear all those stories her mom had to tell us. And it made me happy that even though she’s been gone for a while, her family hasn’t forgotten about her and they still love her. It was sad, Sasha’s dad’s story. His coworker stopped visiting her late husband after only 4 months. How could anyone get over something like that so quickly? I mean, he was your husband for goodness sake. :(

She really was an amazing person. Even though she was going through so much pain throughout so much of her life, she was never really a sad person. She was grateful that she was alive. She never said “Why me? Why do I have to be going through this? What did I do wrong?” All her mother’s stories about her just made me wish that I were more like that. More optimistic, more cheerful, more caring.

It makes me think. I think that I have things bad!? There are people out there that are suffering much more than I will ever in my lifetime, and I feel sorry for myself when shit happens to me?? I mean, sure, I’ll feel down about some things but I’ll still eventually look to the brighter side. I’m grateful for who and what I have in my life. Yeah, things could be better for me, but let’s not forget that things could also be worse, much worse. We should all be very thankful for what we have.

Sasha, I’m very glad to have been your friend throughout the years. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to keep in touch during high school. I really regret that. I’ll always remember your cheerful attitude towards everything despite your suffering. You are still greatly loved and missed by so many people. I’m glad that you’re in a better place, no longer in pain.

[fin]


The bear she gave me. :< Brownie/Mr. Creasy.

Time.

Bored Steffy

I don’t like this. I keep playing with a lip ring that’s not there. It makes me sad. :<

This morning, Jess and I had Kit Kat and Twix for breakfast. Lol. Then we finished watching Hulk and then her mom picked her up.

Chris wanted to hang out but I had work to do. I had to clean the house and do homework and all that jazz but he insisted on hanging out. Since I had already gone to a party for Halloween, I didn’t want to go out again this weekend since I promised mummy I would limit my going out. Chris wanted to hang out either way so he and Kevin came over.

Sandy was cleaning out all the crap in her room that she didn’t use/need. We were all raiding her things for stuff that we might use. Well, maybe not “use” but they were things we wanted. It was like “Ohhh. Pretty piece of useless junk.” *takes* or “That looks cool.” *takes* haha. I found this cool mini digital camera she was about to throw out so I just took it. It would’ve been quite a waste to just trash something that still worked. lol. Even though the chances of me actually putting it to good use were slim. :P

Kevin sure took a lot of stuff. Like Sandy’s inflatable plastic lips. Haha. I think a lot of the stuff was from Dan, that’s why she was so eager to get rid of them. Plus they were really old and she would never use them again. lol.

So yeah. Today was rather awkward, as I expected. I’m sorry ok. I can’t just get over something like that so quickly. And he honestly can’t blame me for acting the way I do. He’s in such a hurry to fix things but fixing something like this takes time and he really needs to understand that I need time to get over what happened and I have no idea how long it’ll take. I’m sorry for everything. :/

But I think he really needs to stop bringing it up and saying sorry nearly every time I chat with him online and such. How the heck am I supposed to forget about what happened if he keeps bringing it up? It like, does he want things to be awkward forever? Just drop it and pretend like it never happened, please… or at least try.

I know that’s pretty much impossible. It’s going to take a while for me to really get over what happened. He keeps asking me “Why do you hate me so much?” which is something I asked him numerous times NOT to ask me because I could NEVER hate him. It makes me sad that he thinks that I’m capable of actually HATING him. Just because things are awkward doesn’t mean that I hate him. It just really hurts that he thinks that way. It makes me feel like us not being best cousins anymore is all my fault and it’s my fault that things are still awkward because I’m not trying hard enough to fix things.

I asked him a question and he said “I can’t tell you because you’re not fully my cousin yet.” Ok… I can’t just STOP being his cousin. I still care. I still worry. And it really hurts that he said that to me. And I know I’ve hurt him too by being awkward and weird but I just can’t forget. I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve completely abandoned you and left you for dead. I need you to understand my side of this. I told you already… I still need…

Time.

[fin]