052908.

Damnit! I didn't wake up early enough to bring her to work. So no car for Steffy today. :(

Oh yeah. Yesterday...

The fun of registration...
I hadn't realized that it was my registration day until Jess texted me saying that all her classes were full... So I called her up so we could stress out together. lol. I... HATE that stupid lancer website! I was at it for hours (that's what she said) and I came THIS close to breaking something. I swear it was SO hard (that's what she said) to do something SO simple that would only take about 20 minutes tops if that website hadn't been fucking up so much. I even called to try and register that way but it was nearly as bad "the number you entered was... 0... 0... 8... 4... blah blah blah" in that lovely monotone voice I love so much. (-_-) And in the end that call amounted to nothing because it just ended up telling me to either go to the school or go on the lancer site. *sigh* At least after all that screaming and frustration I got what I needed (that's what she said [lol what's with me today?]) and s'all good baby! But still... FOCK you lancer!! t(-_-t)

The Norton Simon museum...
I never knew that such cute guys worked at museums. LOL! And I saw this one cute artsy guy that was drawing and I just thought "mmm that's sexy." lol. Anyways, I went for the art! Not for the men! (but it doesn't hurt to look ;P)
It was fun. Surprisingly, I was there about 3 hours. o_O I was glad that I could actually take time to actually LOOK at the art rather than just glance and move along. I was only disappointed in the fact that the special exhibitions weren't ready yet. meh. I think I'll go back sometime.
If you think I'm a loser for having fun at an art museum... STFU betch!

After the museum...
I drove down to paseo since it was right there anyways and I walked up and down Colorado and returned that dress at forever 21. And once again I saw that couple that I kept on seeing at the museum. After that I went to ER Plaza and I bought sandy a new screen protector because I felt bad that I fucked hers up. I walked around a bit, bought some food, picked my mom up from work, and went home to finish my pcc registration crap that pissed me off.

The Beach...
I wanna go I wanna go I wanna go! I want to tan! I want to make sand castles! I want to bodyboard! I want to have a bonfire!
Hmm. Why is it that our family always goes to Redondo? We never go anywhere else. I'm not saying that it's not fun or anything, but why don't we ever go anywhere else? I don't like their sand though. It's so coarse and sometimes it scrapes at my skin. Not so much fun sometimes. lol. Whatever! Any beach is fine with me! Can we just GO please! Just so long as I can stare into that big blue ocean, lay on the beach and listen to the waves crash I'll be happy. :)

Music...
Don't you hate it when you hear this song but you don't know what it's called and it drives you crazy trying to figure it out! Sandy and I have been hearing that song OVER and OVER and we still don't know what the fuck it's called! Every time it comes up we're like "What's it called!? Where else is that song from!?" AAAAAH! It sucks especially when there are no lyrics and you can't just look it up online. Like a symphony, piano, instrumentals, etc.

Summmerrrrrr...
I'm worried that I won't have time to hang out with my friends. All of us have different time schedules at pcc. And what's going to happen when I get a job? Then NO ONE will have time to go out. Rawr!

Goals...
It would be nice to set some summer goals don't you think? hmm...
- go to the beach at least 3 times
- read at least 3 books
- finish at least 1 DS game
- go clubbing (if my mother permits)
- pass my summer classes (easy peasy)
- exercise more
- have at least 3 parties, maybe 4 (friends, family, LB friends)
- learn something new
- gain weight
- go to universal (gawd am I getting tired of that place) at least 3 times before our pass expires
- go to disneyland & 6 flags
- go to the tofu festival
- watch all those new movies that are out
- get a job
- learn how to drive on the freeway

These aren't in any specific order. I just wrote them down as they came to mind. I'll probably add more when I think of them. We'll see.

OOOOHKAAAAY THEN. TODAY! What will I do? I think I'll read s'more, clean s'more, eat s'more, and sleep s'more. SOMEONE PLEASE call me or come over or SOMETHING! lol.

p.s. I hate Jacco for getting the word "betch" stuck in my everyday vocabulary. That betch...

052708.

Memorial Day.

Woot woot! Finally! I got my external hard drive! Finally! I got a TV in my room! Finally! I got to hang with the short ones! Finally! My dad finally got his beloved 52 inch flat screen! And FINALLY! I got to hang out with the cousins! My loves!

I hung out with the short ones for Ann's birthday. We ate and had a bunch of laughs and went shopping! Haha. I missed those kids. They always have such hilarious stories to tell. They helped me pick out a dress but when I got home, I realized that it was a biiiiit too short. I'll return it tomorrow I guess.

Afterwards, Sandy and I drove to Justin's to save Chris and Neil from a boring party. We went back to our place where we fed them and we played DS! When I walked into my dad's room all I said was "WOW…" and it looked like he'd been sitting in front of the TV for forever. lol. Chris went to the computer to download some music. psh. He got nearly all of my instrumentals. lol. Kevin, Anty, and Ape were at the party and I suppose they were bored also because they walked up the hill to my house. haha! They called and told me they were lost so Chris and I went to go get em. We ran back up the hill and when we got to the house, we were all gasping for air. Haha. We played some board games. Twas fun. ^_^

I didn't exactly expect to have such a fun time today but I did and I'm happy. <3

My dad was about to get me the 500GB but they ran out of them so he got the 250 instead. Now Ron and John can give me all those shows I wanted. YESSS! I don't even know if it's enough space. :/ hopefully it is.

My dad's new TV is beautiful! Such a clear picture that makes you go o_O WOOOOW! And now I have their old TV. I've never had a TV in my room... I repeat, NEVER. And now I do. :) Still, I don't think I'll be watching that much TV. lol. I think I'll be watching my movies and my seasons dvds more. I have missed a lot of my favorite shows. And I think most of them are already done until next season. :( Anyways, the first thing I did was get my good ol Nintendo NES and play TETRIS! HAHA! Yes, I know I'm a dork for doing that. :P

We also got a new washer after what? 8 years or something (and it was used when we bought it). Yeah this was quite a weekend for spending mucho dinero.

I was reading the poems from Out Loud: Slam Poetry and it brought back memories. When Charlie danced with that girl, that cute, funny asian guy, that guy that mooned his ass and balls to the whole audience, the dancing, the piano. I WISH so badly that I could've gone to see it again.

Going to class every day sure did pay off. Lauren gave me and Jess free tickets, 2 each, to this place called The Garage Theatre and she said that if we loved Out Loud, we'd LOVE The Garage. So I can't wait! XD

My gawd do I have the strangest dreams. Sometimes they seem so real and when I wake up I think "Oh my gawd. What the fuck was that?" Like when you have one of those sex dreams and you suddenly wake up with a cold sweat. And don't you hate when you can't remember what the heck you've dreamt the other night but you want to remember but all you know is that it was an awesome dream. lol.

I need to get a fucking car! I need to learn how to drive on the freeway! I think tomorrow I'll drive my mom in the morning so I can have her car for the rest of the day. I want to go to the Norton Simon tomorrow. Yes I know, what a loser. But I want to go because when I go with other people, they're always so rushed and I really want to actually take the time to look at the art this time. I'll be alone but I'll be fine. :)

Yesterday was awesome. Today was pretty boring. A lot of cleaning, reading. I even got bored enough to watch all the mini movies that I made. Pirates of Physiology (still think the version that I edited was better), the Desde El Puerto Music Video (horrible pero muy comico), Anatomy for Disaster (can't believe Ann fit in that suitcase & the part when Jess died will always make me laugh), Oedipus Rex (silly fun! Ron and his shrieks of pain! LOL! and I remember people saying "why didn't he use the gun in the first place" when I presented it to the class :P), and goodness I was even bored enough to watch Stacey's debut (gosh did I dance badly, but I still miss it!) I think I would've loved to have joined drama in High School. Damn. I remember I was THIS close to joining photography. UGH! Focking Aye! AND I wanted to join journalism because my teacher said that I'd like it but the journalism teacher never got to me. So stupid of me.

The last Laker game pissed me the fuck off. The whole fourth quarter I had my head down on the table. Sandy saw how hard I was taking it so she stopped cheering for the Spurs. Cmon you guys, please win today!

*sigh* Plans for Friday have been canceled and I was so looking forward to it because I KNOW the rest of this week is going to be boring. And I miss my buddies. *sigh* All my friends still have school. Jessy dear has work. I suppose I'll have to just read more books, play my DS, watch more anime, download some music, clean some more, run, look for a job. LOL. I guess I DO have a lot of stuff to do. haha. no worries then. 

Ok. 2nd half of the game. Laterrrrrzzzz!

I wasn't really paying that much attention when I wrote this blog. Just saying random things. Wonder if it makes sense. :P

052408.

Gawd I wish that I knew who the heck reads my blogs! I'd very much like to know who the heck cares enough to read my stories. rawr! haha.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. I hung out with Jess, Jean and John (lol. i should call them the J Crew or something [steffy's an outcast! haha.]). Despite the rain and wind it was still fun. :) We drove to Belmont Shores (turns out we've been there before with Michelle&Marvin). We got some food from this deli (forgot what it was called). XP Anyways, we decided to eat at the beach but it was WAY too windy and sand was getting all over the place. So we ended up just eating in the car, then playing some TETRIS babyyy! I won about 2 times :(, Jean 0, Jess 4?, and that damn John won with 5. UGH! That mofo. Anyways, we went walking and it started to rain so we went into this coffee shop (forgot what it was called too. haha.). We stayed there playing pusoy dos and that was a blast! I swear. All I need is a deck of cards and that would be the life of the party. haha. John left to go to work after a while. The rest of us stayed in his car and played Call of Duty to pass the time and wait for the rain to die down. So then the two lovers and the third wheel went walking around, checking out the muy expensive stores. I didn't plan on buying anything anyways but it was fun.

Let's see, Let's see. Afterwards, we drove to Santa Anita mall. On the drive there I decided to sleep but when I heard Jess talking about playing the alphabet game, I couldn't resist! I really do love that game but sometimes you just run out of lists. Haha. Even the car ride was a blast. Oh how I love hanging out with those guys but sometimes I worry if I'm the third wheel or something. :/ Hopefully they don't think that way of me. Yep yep. Went shopping. I bought a couple of halter tops. I wanted a halter dress but sadly I couldn't find any nice ones. Jess spent about $80 and she felt bad because she was "wasting" money. She worked hard for that money. It wouldn't be fair if she never spent any of that hard earned dinero on herself. Right? She deserves it. After a while, my feet started hurting like a BITCH! Fucking boots. I haven't worn them in forever but I didn't expect to be walking so much today. Aww man! I really wanted to see that art gallery cafe thing. I was SO in the mood for some ART! Rawr! :/ Oh well. Next time I suppose.

After the mall, they dropped me off. I ate some food while watching the Laker game with my dad. We laughed at how badly the Spurs were getting their asses whooped. Sandy informed us that her dearest love, Ramley, wasn't watching the game, hoping that if he doesn't watch it, the Spurs might magically win. Haha! Chris called and asked me if I wanted to watch the rest of the game with him. He told me he was speeding to my house because the game was nearly over. We went to Stacey's place but she wasn't there. When she finally came, I was yelling "Open the door! We're missing it!!" Yes, i know the Lakers had pretty much already won the game but you just gotta finish it. Haha. We ate more food and after the game was over, weturned on the Wii! Woot Woot! I wanted to play brawl but Nikki wanted to play sports. :/ Sports was still fun though. I whooped her arse at tennis. Haha. Whooped Chris's ass in tennis. Mwahahaha! He wanted a rematch and he friggin beat me! Rawr! Did some boxing, bowling. Then at some point Chris walked into the living room wearing a tube top. LOL! And I must say... Hilarious shit! Plenty of pictures taken but sadly I'll only be posting up ONE as requested by Chris. I pity the boy but I envy him for his boobs are bigger than mine. LOL.

Me mum called and wanted me home. I was kinda mad because it was so early and it was my first day of freedom and I wanted it to last. But alas, all good things must come to an end. Chrissy drove me home and I went straight to my laptop to watch some anime when I realized that I had Stacey's R4 in my DS. I felt bad but at the same time oh so good because I had an R4 to play with! LOL.

Dearest Chris tells me not to go for it. I want to but... Last time, I didn't listen and look what happened. I think I'll listen this time. Hopefully I do and I don't get hurt. But it's the painful experiences that help you the most right? If someone hurts me, they've helped me learn about trust and about being careful about who I open my heart to. I hate being shy. I wish I could just GO for what I want, fearless of rejection, etc. If i never overcome these obstacles in my life, I'll never be able to realize my potential. I need to appreciate every moment in my life and take those risks because I may never be able to experience some things again. We'll see if I break out of my oh so tight shell. It probably won't happen. Chris doesn't want to see me get hurt again. He doesn't want to see me get played. He's a cousin that cares. I know he does. I don't know what I'm going to do. He's an awesome guy. Outgoing, tells funny stories, listens to awesome music. Good for me right? I need an outgoing guy to help me break out! But still, I feel my shyness wouldn't help at all. I don't want to be with someone if I can't help them grow as a person. I'm so unsure of myself. *sigh* Steffy... what WILL we do with you.

Anyways... On another note I want to have a party! Several parties, in fact. I just need to plan when and who. Hmm... I'll plan later.

WOOT WOOT! It's nearly 4am! I haven't stayed up this late since winter break. HAHA! My first day of freedom was awesome. Thank you to all those who made it so. <3

052208sleep.

When you sleep, sometimes things happen and you're not sure if you dreamt it or if it really happened. For instance, as I was "studying" for my last final by reading the book while lying down (stupid. I know), I dozed off into a deep sleep. At some point I wasn't completely sure if Sandy walked in my room and asked me a question. *sigh* Oh well. Haha. And when I suddenly woke up, I thought to myself, "I'm horny." but it just turned out to be my ring tone talking. Which reminds me, I am in desperate need of a new ring tone. I always get strange looks from people when they hear "UH! SO HORNY! UH UH! SO HORNY! ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME!" This isn't much of a surprise though. I mean, I'd think someone was weird if they had that kind of ring tone. Wouldn't you? My phone went off HOW many times during class!? About 7 or 8 I'd say. It's pretty funny when it happens. Silence… Then out of nowhere "UH! SO HORNY!" My mind screams "Shit! Not again!" as I rummage through my bag to silence that proclamation of sexual desire. Haha!

Anyways, what's up with the weather today??? I mean, woah! In the morning it was pretty sunny, then later in the afternoon it became all thunder and lightning, then the rain, then no rain. I hate how every other week the weather changes. One week it's burning hot, and then the next week it's freezing cold. WTF! And tomorrow we had plans to go to the park but I guess that's not going to happen. It's a good thing we planned other things to do.

Lakers! Damn I knew I should've watched the game last night. I got home and I saw the score. I didn't want to see my babies lose, plus I had to study for my last final. Later that night my mom informed me that the Lakers actually won that game. "It was GOOD!" she said, "It was scary to watch." Haha. Silly mommy. It's funny how my mom, my dad, and I are rooting for the Lakers while my sister cheers for the Spurs (but that's only because her boyfriend loves them). She told me that once, the Spurs were losing and her boyfriend was pissed, and she said "They still have the 4th quarter" and he replied "One more quarter for the Lakers to win!" My Gawd! What a douche! Bitch just because your team's losing, doesn't mean you should take it out on my sister. She was only telling him that the Spurs still had hope but he was too pissed off to get it. Grrrarrr that makes me mad!

Tuition went up a fantastic $300! Horray! not. At least I think it's 300. I really want a job and I really don't want to spend it on myself despite all these things that I want. I just want to help my parents pay. Soon I'll be getting a car, and next semester I'll be getting an apartment. It's just too much for them. I really hope that when I get a job, I don't spend too much on myself. Let's not get greedy stef.

Ok. Wtf are you doing? You're supposed to be studying woman! Vacationitis, as Jess calls it. Summer has already started for me. Come on stef. It's the last one. Get to it!

Ok bye.

Fin.

052108random.

aaaah!!!

i love tetris but sometimes it just drives me crazy. jess and i play a LOT during school buuuuut
when her mom picks us up and i close my eyes to sleep, all i see are those fucking blocks falling falling falling!
i just wanna sleep and all i see is tetris!
aaaaah!! the madness!
cyan, orange, yellow, green, purple, red, blue!
one mistake and you could be through!
shapes I, J, L, O, S, T, Z!
i have to think of a strategy.
seriously though, it's really hard to sleep with tetris on my mind. X[ rawr!

anyways... jess has reminded me that now that it's summer, we can get back to watching our anime!! woot woot! yea boiii!! and now i can actually play those ds games that i had bought but never played. lol.

fock i need an external hard drive! i keep downloading and downloading and now i only have 10 GB left on my laptop! aaaarrrrggghhh!

aaaaannnnndddd i want a longboard soooo bad! i had a dream the other night that i was skating and it was fuuuuun! lol. charlie says i should get a sector 9 but first i'll be needing some dineroooo which equals JOB!!! but then i need a car!! and ever since i hit that parked car, my mom's 1982 datsun, now mine, has been deemed undrivable. I mean, it works but my dad says it's unsafe. -_-

one more final to go but my mind has pretty much already checked out of school. so far I have a B in chem.. I only did well on that final because i remembered the answers from the practice midterm, which were exactly the same ones on the final. i had NO idea how to actually solve the problem but thank goodness i remembered the answers. lol. probably an A in soc. an A in history if i only get 4 wrong on the final on friday. probably a C in posc. -_- and obviously an A in theatre. haha.

it would seem that all construction on the house has ceased. now all that's left is an empty, unfinished room that we can't even use. not to mention all that trash just sitting in the backyard. guess it just slipped my parent's mind that we needed a permit in order to do construction on our house. haha. sure, it's nice and quiet now. no more hammering and drilling. but still… that extra room would've been nice. what is to become of that room? i don't know. not sure if they're going to just tear it all down and start all over again or keep working with what they've done. such a waste of money.

gawd I can't stop watching this show! it's so sad though. so much betrayal. deceit. and it seems like his quest will NEVER end. :( I just find it hilarious how in EVERY episode his clothes get thrashed to ribbons and yet at the end of each one, he manages to get the exact same outfit. lol. and YES I know that's how ALL cartoons are but I mean, EVERY episode!? come on! he IS awesome though. kicking ass when necessary, helping pretty much everyone he crosses. i just hate how it seems like he just ends up back to square one at the end of each episode but it's cool cuz it shows how much he's willing to sacrifice for others, even if it means that his quest would never end. the designs for the show are pretty awesome too. :) haha. i barely finished the first season but i likes it mucho. :P hahahahahaha! currently watching one of the funniest episodes. XD [one episode later… ohmaigah another hilarious episode! XDDDD!!!] [one season finale later... "Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl, with a red riding cape and GREAT FLAAAAMING EYEBROWS!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!]

"finally! you're happy again." he said to me a long while back. now just because i've gotten over justin and i like someone else (hate how they call him "the apple guy"), it doesn't exactly mean that i'm happy. i'm not happy that i've lost a friend, maybe two, because things didn't work out and things got AWKWARRRRRD. i DO miss last semester sometimes. those were some awesome times. i miss mike and justin, the two lovers, friends that seem to have drifted away. mike, I still love him. how can anyone NOT love him? and justin, well, i'm pretty much nothing to him nowadays. not even a friendly hello when we see him, which isn't often. but i don't talk to him either so yeah. at least he talks to jess when he hangs out with us. not sure if he just wants to avoid me or if he thinks i want to avoid him. well, I didn't want to avoid him but i was just quiet every time he hung out with us. i mean, he really just broke me and i don't think he knew how bad it was… anyways… i also miss when c&j would come over to my house every friday to watch movies and just spend time with each other. i know it's not good to dwell in the past. i know those days are gone. but is it wrong to say that those days were good to me? things change, people change. it's inevitable. but everything happens for a reason. i remember jess telling me to go for it because she didn't want me to regret never trying. and i really don't regret what happened in the past. it was an experience that i have learned from. so thank you for the memories.

fdsajiofwqoyn! gonna wake up early tomorrow... erm today... to run & play tennis. so… i'll watch the last episode of season one then i'll go to bed. :) talk about other stuff later.

fin.

quick note on cancer sticks. haven't had one in 2 weeks. feeling pretty good about myself. i quit. :)

051608nanay.

i feel really bad for nanay. she really HAS just lost her mind. she doesn't know who we are. she usually just sits there... and it really is sad to watch. sometimes she's cleaning... picking up trash on the floor and putting it into bags with clothes and papers. then when she leaves we have to put everything back where it was. we'd never know if she threw away any important papers or took any clothes that she thought were hers.

i don't think she really understands either. i mean, she laughs at my dad's jokes... and NO ONE ever laughs at my dad's jokes. honestly. i think she only laughs because HE laughs. she doesn't know who anyone is and when my mom tries to quiz her, sons become uncles, daughters become cousins, and she even thinks tatay's alive sometimes. when we know she took something that wasn't hers, they ask her "where did you get that? it's nice." and she would respond "oh. tatay gave it to me."

then i think of tatay and how much i loved him as a child. and i think about how i never got to see him when i was older and how i never got to say goodbye. all i wanted to do was just say goodbye. and when my mom got the call that he had died... i just walked to my room... locked the door... and broke down in tears. then all the memories of him playing with me and michael just rushed through my head, causing my tears to flow even harder... sandy was very much unaffected by the news of his death. she didn't love him. she had no memories... i know i didn't see him when i was older but i cried my heart out for him. i really did... i really just wanted to say goodbye. same with tita tess. when we last saw her, i wanted to scream "wait! wait!," run to her, hug her tightly, and say "goodbye" because i knew it would be the last time i would see her alive... but my feet wouldn't move. i just stood there as they rolled her away into a different room. i'll always remember her face as it disappeared though the doorway... i'll always regret that. i never got to say goodbye...

anyways... back to nanay. they tell her when to sleep. they tell her when to eat because she supposedly doesn't know when she's hungry. they try to entertain her by putting on a movie but she ends up just getting up and "cleaning" the house. then she's always trying to "escape." we'd wake up in the morning and go downstairs only to discover her trying to open the door. she's ask for the keys, and even though they were right in front of her, we'd tell her that we didn't know where they were.

i remember when she ran away from our house. we had NO idea where she was. everyone was freaking out. even called the cops. then we found out that she walked to tita dory's place. she had been threatening that she would to back to the philippines but we didn't expect her to run away like that.

also sad is the fact that the aunts and uncles just trade her off every weekend or so since no one wants to take care of her. and she really just wants go to back home. i think she'd be happier there. but she can't go because of issues with health insurance or something.

X[ ok i'm gonna stop talking. i have finals to study for. -_- and good luck to everyone with that.

i just started talking because it was our turn to take care of her this weekend. and it's always the same. every time... :/

lakers

laker games are fun to watch.

i get mad, i cheer, i scream, i complain. i even cuss and my mom looks at me in a way that says "WHAT did you just say young lady???"

my dad's more of the "silent rage" kind of person. when the lakers do badly, he just sits there and takes another sip of his beer... but you KNOW he's pissed. haha. then if they lose, you'll hear him stomping all over the place once the game's over.

my mom. her reaction to the lakers losing would be... "AY! i don't want to watch anymore!" or if she's not frustrated "that's it honey. they lost." oh you of so little faith. lol.

and sandy... well, when the spurs start losing, she grabs her phone and starts texting her "boi" since she only LIKES the spurs because HE does. haha.

anyways...


GO LAKERS!!!