Sasha.

It was rather random when I received a text from Stace in the morning, asking if I wanted to go with her to visit Sasha’s grave. Of course, I agreed to go with her because I haven’t visited Sasha in such a long time.

Stace picked me up later that day and as we drove to Glendale, she filled me in on certain aspects of her life. Well, just one part of her life. lol. Very interesting stories, I must say. I wish her all the luck in the world with this one. :)

So we were almost at Forest Lawn when I realized that I had forgotten my Flounder and Creasy Bear toys at home. Flounder was Sasha’s favorite toy of mine and Sasha gave me the bear as a gift. I really wanted to bring them for her. Stace kindly drove us back to get the toys, but also because she wanted to kill time. lol. We also bought some flowers. When we got to Forest Lawn, we kind of forgot where Sasha’s grave was. lol. All I really remembered was a big tree. But then again, there’s like HOW many trees at Forest Lawn. Hahaha. We were driving around for quite some time but we eventually found her. :)

When we got to her grave, we noticed a few bouquets of flowers already there. I hadn’t seen her gravestone before because the last time I visited, they hadn’t put it yet. It was beautiful. There were pictures of her all over it and it had a very lovely quote on it, too. As Stace and I sat there, I heard Stace saying “Hi”. I didn’t recognize the woman Stace was greeting but she was walking straight towards us. “Hi. I’m Sasha’s mother,” she said. I really didn’t expect that. lol. Sasha’s father and sister were there as well. Was us seeing them a coincidence? I don’t know. It kind of felt like we were meant to see them because if I hadn’t forgotten my things and we hadn’t gotten lost, we would have been to her grave earlier, left earlier, and we would have missed them completely.

Even more surprising to me was that Sasha’s parents recognized me. “Stephannie. Oh yeah. Sasha went to your parties a lot.” lol. Her mom started telling us stories about Sasha’s last months and how she fought to live. So many stories about all the miracles that happened. It really was beautiful. And it made me feel, I don’t know, at peace I suppose because I was finally able to find out how she left since I found out about her death months after she was gone.

I really was too bad that Xtia wasn’t there. :<

They brought her flaming hot cheetos, just for her and they had strawberry cheese cake. Her dad said to us “You have to share with her, her favorite food.” So they have us a slice of cheese cake. I thought that it was so sweet that they still do that for her after two years. They said that they go there as much as they can, about 4 times a week. It just made me happy knowing that they love her so much to visit her so often and bring her food, just to be with her. It’s not like other people that go to graves to mourn and cry and be depressed. But them, they’re not like that. It seems that they only think of the beautiful memories that they’ve had with her and how Sasha’s always with them, watching over them.

I was very glad that I was able to hear all those stories her mom had to tell us. And it made me happy that even though she’s been gone for a while, her family hasn’t forgotten about her and they still love her. It was sad, Sasha’s dad’s story. His coworker stopped visiting her late husband after only 4 months. How could anyone get over something like that so quickly? I mean, he was your husband for goodness sake. :(

She really was an amazing person. Even though she was going through so much pain throughout so much of her life, she was never really a sad person. She was grateful that she was alive. She never said “Why me? Why do I have to be going through this? What did I do wrong?” All her mother’s stories about her just made me wish that I were more like that. More optimistic, more cheerful, more caring.

It makes me think. I think that I have things bad!? There are people out there that are suffering much more than I will ever in my lifetime, and I feel sorry for myself when shit happens to me?? I mean, sure, I’ll feel down about some things but I’ll still eventually look to the brighter side. I’m grateful for who and what I have in my life. Yeah, things could be better for me, but let’s not forget that things could also be worse, much worse. We should all be very thankful for what we have.

Sasha, I’m very glad to have been your friend throughout the years. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to keep in touch during high school. I really regret that. I’ll always remember your cheerful attitude towards everything despite your suffering. You are still greatly loved and missed by so many people. I’m glad that you’re in a better place, no longer in pain.

[fin]


The bear she gave me. :< Brownie/Mr. Creasy.