The Dead Father

But have you noticed the slight curl at the end of Sam II’s
mouth, when he looks at you? It means that he didn’t want you
to name him Sam II, for one thing, and for two other things it
means that he has a sawed-off in his left pant leg, and a baling
hook in his right pant leg, and is ready to kill you with either
one of them, given the opportunity. The father is taken aback.
What he usually says, in such a confrontation, is “I changed
your diapers for you, little snot.” This is not the right thing to
say. First, it is not true (mothers change nine diapers out of
ten), and second, it instantly reminds Sam II of what he is mad
about. He is mad about being small when you were big, but no,
that’s not it, he is mad about being helpless when you were
powerful, but no, not that either, he is mad about being contin-
gent when you were necessary, not quite it, he is insane because
when he loved you, you didn’t notice.
Donald Barthelme
The Dead Father

Now wasn’t that lovely? It’s just beautiful. I was reading a book for my summer reading and I saw this thing and I liked it. :D

i hate ants… they eat our leftovers and out candy. our carpet is all dark so you can barely see them… so you wouldn’t notice you were stepping on them until they’re biting at your feet! so stupid! we’re not dead carcasses that they could just eat up! and when we’re just sitting down we feel sharp pains all over our bodies. damn ants are trying to bite chunks of our skin off… that ain’t gonna work. grrrr. stupid ants…

dan’s here and he needs help with his math homework! oh dear… poor boy needs help! elementary algebra for college. so difficult it must be. i’m sorry… i shouldn’t be making fun. His teacher is “tough but funny at the same time” good for him… I want a funny teacher this year. but unlikely. I don’t think AP teachers are meant to be funny.

my internet’s down for today… don’t know why… but it happens about 4 times a year… but it always comes back the next day… so whatever… i feel free from the internet’s grasp… lol… now I can draw… or read… or just do my summer articles… horray…

almost time for school. I fear I won’t make any new friends… as I do every year… hate being shy… but it’s good cuz if I had friends in my class, I would be distracted… last year I had straight As except for the class I had with my friend in it… she was a big distraction… I got a damn C in the class… and it wasn’t too difficult… just the damn talking! Mr. yan was disappointed in me too. He said I thought you were a smart girl, and I still think you are… then he looked at my friend and eeeh… lol. I know that if she wasn’t in my class I would’ve done 10x better. we wouldn’t shut up sometimes… so I really do hope I have no friends in my class… I do hope I have at least one friend but just as long as I stay concentrated and stuff.

erm… they’re on the couch right now and I’m afraid to turn around… and just cuz I have my headphones on, it doesn’t mean that I can’t hear what they’re doing on it… like ewww! older siblings shouldn’t do such things in front of their YOUNGER siblings. i’m supposed to look up to her but how can i want to do follow in her footsteps when she’s doing such things… shame shame shame… and father is right upstairs… just sickening…

here’s the couch when they were done…